Racquetball yesterday was a ton of fun, even though I was playing against people who don't really play much. I was so excited leaving the lab coming home to get ready cuz I knew I was going to get to play again, it was like Christmas. My arm is feeling it a bit today, so I definitely still need to go easy I think, so I'll likely play my regular partner on Thursday and see how that goes (I imagine he's going to crush me since he's still been playing and I haven't), but I think I'm gonna cancel with the new guy so I don't end up hurting myself. I totally blanked also when I mentioned the racquetball tourney this weekend in my previous post, cuz I have other plans anyways that interfere with that, but regardless, I think it's best I don't enter the tourney even if I had the available time.

Also, I basically couldn't sleep at all last night (and not much the night before) because of this strange throat thing I've been developing as I think I'm getting sicker, so hopefully that fixes up soon.


And don't worry livejournal, I just want you to know that even though facebook and twitter are crushing your user-ship, I shall remain a faithful updater!

Today I feel: scratchy

1) I think I might be getting sick

2) I'm getting back into racquetball this week in a big big way, including playing tonight with Joel and Laurel, two more times later in the week, and ideally, a tourney this weekend. Oh yeah, baby, oh yeah

Today I feel: excited

So, I just submitted my revisions for my manuscript finally, and it's a good feeling to have that out of the way. It's a bit amazing all the hoops I had to jump through to get this thing good to go, so hopefully it will get accepted now and I can get published as a first author (although I do have to go through another round of revisions, but hopefully they will only be minor). While I'd like to enjoy this accomplishment, maybe get some sleep, for some silly reason I agreed to help out some people from the Med School with a paper they are writing, so now I turn my attention to that. They have to submit an abstract for a conference they wish to present at, and the deadline for the abstract is Jan. 31st, so I definitely need to get them my part soon, so hopefully I can get a good amount of that done tonight as well (yes, I'm planning my third all-nighter in two weeks).

My work in the new lab is going well. Basically at the moment we're running a bunch of tests to make sure the gas bench on the mass spec is running properly, and I had a bit of a marathon test to run yesterday, but the results came back looking really good, so I'm very excited about that. The lab tech ran another test today which didn't look as good, but she attributed it to the fact that she believes I do a better job at acidifying the samples than she does, so we'll have to run that one again, but it's not a major issue (as in, it won't stop us from going forward). We also have two undergrad work studies who will be starting this week, which will be nice, because it will cut out a little bit of the grunt work I need to do to get things going each day. I'm supposed to be training one of the undergrads tomorrow, but depending on when I actually go to sleep tonight, I may not make it into the lab in time.

Today I feel: busy

I have some time to post finally, yet have nothing to say.

Currently working in the new lab until 10:30, because I need to push a button every half hour. Too bad they wouldn't let me hire a monkey.

Started working on setting a date for my qualifier exam... scary stuff.

This week looks to be lots of time in the lab, and some time working on stuff for not one, but two manuscripts!

Today I feel: bored

Worked on my manuscript all through the night, but got a lot done, and got it returned back to the other authors for hopefully the last time before resubmittal. I have class in 3 hours, so yeah, today is gonna suck quite a bit (since I promised all my down time to the lab), but it was good.

Today I feel: tired

So just a quick update on the goings-ons of the week since it's been a week since I updated:

So let's see, last Saturday (1/9) hung out with Sara and a bunch of her friends. We were gonna go out, but they were all really hungover from the previous night, so I drank Sara's gin and we all played apples to apples

On Sunday, hung out with Walters and Amy and some of their friends for the Packers game. Was good times hanging with those folks again.

During the week, spent lots of time in our new mass spec room which has just been built (still a little construction left, but it's basically all done). I'm getting trained on the mass specs, plus going to be the point man for the gas bench once it gets working, so Kelly the lab tech and I are working on figuring it all out and getting it to work, and so far so good.

On Thursday, we had the 1st annual EPS polar bear plunge, where a group of us went and jumped in Lake Michigan. It was pretty fun, there is a video of it on my facebook wall if you wanna check it out and haven't yet. Was amazing how warm the air felt outside after getting out of the lake, though.

On Friday, went to a party thrown by one of my professors, was pretty fun.

Last night, went downtown to a party at Laurel's friend's friend's (but I had met Laurel's friend before, Denise, so it's not nearly as removed as I just made it sound), but yeah, that was fun. The party was in Lincoln park, or wicker park, or whatever, but basically one street over from where Sara lives, so pretty funny, I was like "I know these streets!" After that we went to some club where I ended up losing my phone battery somehow, but not my phone, so who knows how that happened. It was a pretty epic night that I'm still feeling right now, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

Sylvia-Monique (SMT) want me to run a marathon with her and some others from our dept in October, and a half marathon in August, so I guess I'm doing that. Have never run that far before, but should be fun to get myself trained for that.

Also, went and did some lifting tonight, and tested my shoulder a bit, and it was feeling pretty good, so that's promising. Ever since t4he cortisone shot it's been feeling pretty good, but I guess that's the point, isn't it :)

Today I feel: tired
What I'm hearing: Little Boots - Meddle

So I think my inability to lift weights and play racquetball, or in particular, do the type of upper body workout I'm accustomed to, is having a bit of an effect on me, in the sense that I've become a ball of bundled up stress and angst with no means to release it. So, for at least the month of January, if my entries take a bit of a more negative tone, or maybe seem to attack a bit, or seem full of anger or hate, I think this is the reason why. Just a heads up

OK, I think I've started this year off on a bad note. So, I'm hitting the reset button and starting this year again tomorrow. It'll be like, this first week didn't really count, like it was a warm up, pre-season, and now that it's done, the real year can begin :)

Today I feel: optimistic

Had a meeting with my advisor today, if I wasn't overwhelmed enough about this quarter, I certainly am now. I guess on the positive note, I won't have any time to worry about my qualifier with all the rest of the stuff I have on my plate :).

I might be making an impromptu journey to Bloomington, IN, for some epic times. Hopefully I can make it work out, cuz it'd be pretty sweet. SMT is giving a talk on Friday afternoon, so likely, I'd maybe try and return for that I suppose.

OK, plenty to do right now, so I'm off!

Today I feel: busy

So heard an interesting debate today on cheating, and decided I wanted to write about the topic a little bit.

The idea of what constitutes cheating came up, whether it needs an emotional attachment, or whether it's simply something that you don't want to tell your partner about. I know I've had girls who I've dated who sure, maybe have gone out and hung out with a guy, maybe got a little physical or whatever, and have not told me, but nothing that would constitute traditional cheating, and yeah, I've done the same. And I think that's ok in my book. I've heard the argument that making out with another person isn't cheating, and I think that gets a little grayer depending on who you talk to, but I would gather anything sexual would like have to constitute cheating. But what if it's meaningless? Or what if it's paid for? What if it has zero effect on your emotional committment to your partner? I think for me, I'd still have a problem with it, but I can understand where maybe in some relationships that sort of arrangement works.

It's also interesting how cheating is the most terrible thing that can be done in a relationship to most people, or at least that's how it seems. Even more so than, say for example, blowing a lot of money that was being saved up for something. I wonder why it is that we hold monogamy in our relationships as such a higher value than other things. I'm sure it comes from heavy religious undertones, and yeah, our country is still pretty religious, but there are a lot of progressive people, and a lot of non religious people, who still hold on tight to this value. If you look at relationships and marriage in our country in general, it seems to me that a lot of people do in fact cheat. We see it all the time on TV and movies, often times glorified, and hear about it all over the news, and yeah, many of us do it. I guess I just don't understand why we can't decide whether or not we believe in monogamy as a whole, or don't. I mean, maybe it's a relic of our past that doesn't make sense anymore, something too hard to hold on to for the average joe, otherwise, why cheat? Even people in seemingly happy relationships will go and do it, and then go out of their way to hide it from their partner in an attempt to continue that relationship, but if you're cheating, why hold on to that other person? And if you're in a relationship, and your partner says it's ok for you to hook up with other people, how many people wouldn't go and take advantage of that opportunity?

My own personal emotions towards the topic have gone up and down. I mean, when I first entered the dating world, I find I was much more optimistic about my simplistic view of what it was to be in a relationship, thought it was cut and dry, that if someone cheats, boom, it's done. But then, I dated someone who cheated on me a lot, and with a variety of partners, and even after discovering what could only have been a portion of it, what did I do? I still fought to salvage that relationship, something I never thought I would try and do. And since then, I've been trying to really force myself into accepting that this practice is something that is more commonplace in our society than I had realized. I date girls with a high probability of cheating on me, maybe to prove myself right, maybe to try and overcome the pain I know it can inflict on me, try and take away that power, and make myself be more accepting of it as I have continually lost my notion of finding any sort of purely lasting monogamous relationship. Like, maybe if I'm in control of it, if I'm expecting it, if I'm letting it happen under my own rules, then somehow, it's ok. I guess in hindsight it's not an ideal way of looking at the issue, I mean, if I don't like cheating and being cheated on, maybe that's ok, why should I try and change that? Of course, if that's the case, then I need to reevaluate what it is I find attractive in a girl, and start going after a entirely different subset of women than I have in the past, and I can't imagine that's an easy thing to do, but who knows, maybe that's what is best in the long run?

So I guess I have two options then, resolutions for the year I suppose. Maybe I try and find myself a more sustainable relationship, with a more sustainable type of woman. Or maybe, I take a step back, reevaluate what it is I really want, who I really want to be, not let society continue to dictate the choices I make, and find out what it is I really hope to gain from this life. /shrug, I don't know. I could always just keep a business as usual type of mentality as well, but I do think it's a phase I want to be done with.

I guess the concept of cheating has played a bigger role in my life direction than I thought it did, but I suppose when you spend so much time trying to convince yourself it's not an issue you need to think about, that's when it's affecting you the most.

Eh, I'm not gonna go back and proofread this, so if it sounds crazy or nutty, or contradicts itself throughout, then I guess you should count yourself lucky!

Today I feel: contemplative

So now that the year is here, I'm already starting to enter into a freak out mode, since my candidacy exam is coming up in April, and before I could always be like "oh, that's not 'til 2010". I need to figure out a plan of how I'm gonna study for this thing. I think for January, my tentative plan is to spend at minimum an hour every day just devoted to the exam, regardless of what else I may need to do that day. Ideally I'll have days in Jan. I can devote more towards it, but to force myself to think about it every day, even if just a little, I think is good. Obviously as I get closer to the exam date, I'll change my strategy, but for now I think this is ok. But anyways, I'll try and not post about the exam any more, or at least not much more, but just realize that whatever I do post in this journal in the coming months, all I'm really saying is "IAMFREAKINGOUTIAMFREAKINGOUT"

Lots of good football in the coming days/week, including both of my schools today (NU lost in an amazing game in OT, OSU playing right now), more great bowl games including the Nat Champ Bowl, and the Broncos making a run to make the playoffs on Sunday (if they beat KC (or even if they don't), and if some combination of losses happen by Bal, Pitt, NE or Hou (but if Hou wins, that's also good), NYJets, Jackonsville... there are 10 different scenerios, it's pretty ridiculous)

Got to see Evan and Jon on the 30th, twas good times, and then on the morning of the 31st, drove back to Chicago to get to a physical therapy appt I had

Today I feel: anxious

So the remainder of my time in NJ went well, spent a few more days hanging with family. On Saturday night I ending up hanging out with a friend from Northwestern, Colleen, who while we were both in AGU had discovered that'd we'd both be in the tiny town of Clinton, NJ over the holidays, me going there every year for Christmas, and her being from their originally (she went to the same high school as my mom, and the rival school of my dad, but much later of course). Was cool to actually go out to a bar while in NJ, and see a little bit of Clinton I hadn't before. But yeah, pretty random that we were both there at the same time, and realized this like days before we both got there.

On the 28th, went to a Catholic mass, which is quite uncommon for me, as I am not Catholic (or really Christian for that matter), but it was dedicated to my Grandmother, so most of our extended family from my dad's side went, and afterwards, my aunt had brought my grandma and grandpa's ashes together to be blessed, as I guess the plan had always been to do something with them together at some point. After the mass, we all had breakfast, and then we headed back to Michigan through some crappy PA and OH weather.

Despite my bad shoulder, went and played racquetball with my good friend Tom, and twas good good times, particularly because I needed to get some exercise after the holiday season. Have plans to see some additional high school friends tonight, and then will decide if I need to had back to Chicago.

Had a few things in the works for New Year's Eve, but they all have seemed to have fallen through, so maybe I'll spend the free time working instead, lord knows I need to get shit done after the nearly complete lack of productivity I've had this break.

Today I feel: busy

Merry Christmas y'all from New Jersey!

Drove into Michigan from Chicago a few days ago in what turned into one of the scariest drives of my life. Driving along I-94 in Michigan from like mile markers 10ish to 70ish was basically like driving on a sheet of ice. Cars littered both sides of the road, and I passed many many collisions, about 4 of them serious enough to have the police involved. I even saw a car pass right by me and then immediately fly off the road. Thankfully, I made it through, and got to Rochester ok.

Had Christmas with the family, was good, and spent one day hanging out with Catherine, also good, then left for New Jersey with my little brother Alex and my dad at 5 am on the 23rd. My other brother Nick isn't really in a good enough condition to travel again this year, and my mom is staying home for him, and staying home cuz she doesn't want to board the dog (after boarding the dog for a few months while she moved into their new house in Florida for a bit).

This will be the first Christmas without my grandma around, so that's a little weird (she passed away last year on a day after Christmas). My uncle's ex-wife is leading a memorial service for her somewhere in PA on the 28th, so before we head back that day, we'll be attending that service.

Went to my Mom's sister's (even though my mom isn't here) house tonight for dinner. Was pretty intense eatings, as my aunt is a cook, my cousin is a pastry chef, and her husband is a chef at a New York restaurant, so there is never a lack for food and good wine. Will spend X-mas day with my dad's family, and I can't even imagine eating ever again, let alone again tomorrow for x-mas.

Hope all y'all are having a great holiday season :)

Today I feel: full

I'm back down to my Namibia weight, hovering just below the 150 line, so that's good I think, especially since Christmas is on the way. Part of that might be due to the fact I'm not lifting as much with the injured shoulder, but I'll be happy none the less. Maybe if I lose just a few more and get down to somewhere between 140 and 145, I'll be semi-content (or as much as someone like me can be!) Yeah, I think staying out of my apt. will only help the matter, and with the next almost 2 weeks spent away, that should be good, especially since the next 3-4 months are going to be spent hunkering down and preparing for the qualifier exam. So yeah, it was nice to have a little week long excursion to San Francisco before the storm hits :)

OK, I need to get my act together, my family would like me to be home tonight if possible, so we'll see if I can get everything done.

Oh, and my big plan of finishing my manuscript reviews during AGU and turning it in on Friday? Yeah, I got NOTHING done on it, so, I guess I shoot for next Friday! (and hope the editors don't decide to just drop me)

Today I feel: optimistic

So I've been at AGU in San Francisco since Sunday evening and been having an amazing time, so here's a little recap:

On Sunday, took the CTA train in to the airport, and was gonna use the majority of the time to read papers, but ended up chatting with this Archaeology grad student from Northwestern for most of the ride. Turned out that she lives like right next to me, and her office is pretty close to mine too, and her research was pretty sweet, so hopefully we run into each other again.

Got in to San Francisco on that Sunday night, and went out with SMT and Yun Yuan. Got Lucas and Abbey, two people I went to OSU with to come out, and was a good time.

Had my poster presentation on Monday afternoon, and it went well, so I was happy about that, but particularly happy that I got to get it out of the way early. Introduced lots of OSU friends to NU friends as they all came by to chat with me at my poster, so that was cool. Went out to dinner with the old OSU crew (Wendy, Dan, Abbey, Ruth, Terra, and two undergrads Eugenia and Mary, and a friend of Abbey's)

On Tuesday, we had a joint reception NU and Washington St. Louis, and that was a good time. After our thing ended, most of the crew went over and crashed the Yale reception, and the group I was with went for like a second, but then left, as Maya apparently hates Yale, so we found a bar in Chinatown and invited a bunch of people out, including WashU-ers, some more NU folk, Dan, Mary, Terra, and Lisa (an OSU senior I hadn't met before). It was a pretty epic night to be honest, but lots of fun.

Wednesday I had a pretty ate start at the conference, but went and checked out some posters. Ran into Chris Van de Ven there, who was giving a poster, and it was great catching up with him. He was one of my thesis advisors at Albion. He mentioned a few other Albion folk that were there (including Jeremiah, the guy from Albion who I don't like very much, as those who know me more intimately may remember, but who always seems to be at the same conferences I am), but I didn't see any of them. Ended up hanging out with Mary, Lisa, and Terra for the night. Met up briefly with Maya (NU) and Garrecht from WashU, an then just barhopped a bit around San Francisco.

Thursday I went to a few things in the morning, then spent the afternoon and evening exploring San Francisco a bit with Lisa and Mary. We took the bus down to the beach by Golden Gate Park and bummed around there a bit, then explored the park some, and then took the bus up to Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf where we met up with Dan. Later that night I ended up hanging out with SMT, Yun Yuan, Dan, and my friend Nathan (at PSU, but was a climate guy at OSU while I was there). Nate had to go to a movie, and pretty soon SMT and YY and Dan all peaced out, so I was ready to call it a night but got a call from Lisa wanting to hang out a bit, so I ventured back out and met up with Nate again also, so the three of us went and hung out at a bar.

Heading back to Chicago today after I see Lisa's poster this morning and Rosemary's (NU) talk at noon. Overall had a wonderful time here, got to meet up with some old friends, got to meet some new ones, and got to hear about some fantastic science going on. Hopefully I can make it back next year :).

Today I feel: accomplished

Finished my AGU poster today, it feels good to have that done. I basically haven't slept at all this week and have been pretty stressed just trying to pull this thing together in time (especially with all the setbacks we've been having), but I managed to get it done and it looks pretty good I think. I've basically looked like death all week, so hopefully I can get a little bit of sleep before taking of for San Fran. on Sunday.

A geology graduate class at OSU had a field trip to the Field Museum this weekend, so I got to hang out with my friend Alyssa and two of the new geology grad students at OSU. Was great to catch up with her. That's one of the reasons I'm excited to get to AGU, to meet up with some of my old peers, it should be a lot of fun. And, I present on the first day, so I get it out the way and can enjoy myself!

Ok, time to crash

Today I feel: exhausted

Start my physical therapy today. Not overly excited about it, but my physical therapist is really hot, so I suppose that'll make the time I need to spend there more bearable.

Have a good concrete idea about my poster now, so pretty excited about that. Had a good meet about it with my advisor. We had decided just to meet whenever yesterday, but I was working throughout the night on finishing mt stats final (and it's done!) and other stuff so just decided to stick around until he showed up (9:30 am). Meeting went really well (I typed up this long thing about it just now, then realized none of you would care, so just deleted it), and now I have a plan.

Going to a Bulls game tonight, should be fun. I kind of feel bad because I have lots of other stuff I need to be doing, and this week will be over before I know it, but I can work through the night tonight and hopefully make up for lost time.

I haven't started writing my book yet, but I still think about it a lot, mainly because I know once I start working on it I'll abandon my real work. But I keep seeing things, or talk with people, or think of things here and there and am like :oh that'd be perfect, or there's a chapter, and so on. Maybe over Christmas, once the manuscript is submitted, I'll start it.

Also, I will likely be collaborating with two medical residents on a paper about high altitude medicine, so that'll be kind of neat. Although, can't start thinking about that until January-ish.

Today I feel: busy

Went and got my arm checked out by a physical therapist. She said she thought it was a chest strain and some sort of bicep strain also, but that I go get checked out by the Sports Med. doctor at NU. I had to get a TB screening anyways, so went to the health center and got checked out. Her diagnosis was a rotator cuff problem, potentially partial tear, and bicep tendinitis. So I will likely be starting physical therapy next week, and hopefully can get this thing fixed up soon.

Am supposed to go to SMT's tonight for this wine-making a pizza making party, but I'm probably gonna pass. Everything has all accumulated on me like I imagined it would. Got a stats final due Monday, and have to figure out my AGU poster as well, not to mention resubmit my manuscript. Heard earlier in the week that all those samples I had ready to go back in the summer will not be processed in time for AGU, so I have to resort to Plan B now and figure out what the hell I'm gonna put on this poster. I'm a little bummed, and now actually kinda worried about presenting research with nothing to show for it, so we'll see. My official deadline for the manuscript is next weekend, but I e-mailed the editor and said I will be submitting the next weekend (12/18), and he didn't seem to mind at all, so I think I can put it off a little bit longer while I hash out this poster. This also means I can spend my downtime in San Fran at the AGU conference working out my manuscript. It'd be ideal if some of the other authors would be there, but they won't :(.

I also feel like I'm getting sick, but maybe I'm just run down, but I do think it might be a little something. My sleep schedule has been crazy (I know, broken record...), but this week has been especially nuts. I've kept myself fairly isolated this past week also, partly cuz of my schedule, but partly cuz of stress too I think, but I forced myself to hang out with people Thursday, and then went into the office at like 7-ish on Friday and actually worked in the office the whole day rather than at home, so that was good. As long as I remember I need human contact from time to time when I'm in this mode, I can force myself into such situations, then get back to my isolation and work.

World Cup draw was yesterday, USA got a SWEET draw, way excited for the World Cup now. Just gotta resist the urge to apply for tickets...

Got back to Chicago last night/this morning, left Rochester at around midnight. Totally forgot I had a final paper due today at 3, so spent a bit of yesterday and today working that out. Finished it around 2 and turned it in, so that's good, but had to skip a meeting to do so. Was good to see my family and the friends I did, but wish I could've seen more, but that's what Christmas is for. Didn't get as much done work wise as I had hoped, so that's gonna make this week a little tougher, but c'est la vie. God I'm running out of time and fast...

After I post this, I'm setting up an appt. for my arm, no excuses.

Today I feel: anxious

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. Currently in Rochester, I left Chicago at around 11:30 pm on Tuesday night and got in 5:50 am. My dad was awake, so stayed up talking, crashed for about 3 hours, then got up again and hung out with the family.

Sleep has been an increasing problem for me as of late. After 2 weeks of averaging about 4 hours a night, I finally just crashed basically all day on Sunday. Since then though, I've been back to my about 4 hours a night. It's just getting really tough as of recent to stay down, or more so actually to get down.

Just on a side note, I realized last night how important it is to have closure on certain things in life, how it can hold you back without it, so I began to appreciate that more. There are, however, some doors that I think are beneficial to leave open, for one reason or another. I realized pretty recently I think that if I ever did get closure in one specific situation, I'm not sure how I'd be able to adjust, so hopefully that doesn't happen :)

I have tons of work I'm hoping to do over this break. Will I get it done? Probably not, but here's to hope, the worst and best thing one can ever have!



Speaking of hope, I sure hope the Broncos remember what it feels like to win tonight!

Today I feel: content